Week of January 24, 1998
AAch! Why can't I remember my dreams this week?
Scientists say we all dream several times each night and here I am, remembering
none! I have intoned my dream mantra every night before going to sleep "I
will remember my dreams.....I will remember my dreams......I will......" I
will, I will, I will, but I don't and in the morning I find myself casting about
for some image to hold onto, some feeling, sound, taste or smell that could be
connected to a dream.
In my slippers and bathrobe, I pad to my desk at 5 AM with my coffee and new
cork bound journal and voice my complaints on her starchy-clean white sheets.
"I don't know what's happening. I know I'm dreaming but my dreams are
slipping away. I feel defeated, worried and
angry at my lack of self discipline. I'm supposed to be the expert and I'm
losing it." And then, as if in response to my sniveling and
".........and the rows and rows of unfinished urns lie in wait to be
Like a fleeting shadow in the night, this image passes through my mind, clear
and unobstructed. "GOTCHA!" I grab it and hold on with all my mental
strength so it doesn't go slipping off into my dreamworld's storehouse of
unrecalled dreams (where there must be zillions by now). I record it
immediately, switching from my black ball-point pen to my purple one signaling
in my journal that this entry is a dream. Sitting quiet for a few moments, I
wait for more images to filter up to my mind.
"I can work with this." I congratulate myself. Finally, with this
little snippet, I hope that this dream drought is over. Like cool and cleansing
water on a parched land, my little dream fragment is a welcome and precious
guest. I want to savor it and drink in it's essence. I let my curiosity loose to
"sniff out" the meaning of this little dreamlet. I question myself:
- What are urns? "They are containers to hold or grow things in. Very
feminine, like a vessel or a womb."
- Why are my urns unfinished? "They remind me of all my unfinished
projects: my books, my web site and my quilts. It's easy for me to be
sidetracked by other interests and opportunities but I feel guilty about letting
these important things just sit."
- Why are they empty? "Because in order to fulfill their purpose they
need to be completed, with all of the finishing touches. Once they are complete,
they will have lots of potential for service."
- What is this dream asking of me? "To finish what I begin. It shows
that I have done the body of the work and now I need to use my energy and
discipline in order to complete my goals. The rows and rows of urns might mean
that I have even more to accomplish in my life.
- Well, Nancy, what are you going to do about it? "I think I will take a
good look at what I've been spending my time and energy on and restructure my
priorities. I know I'm not very good at time management, so creating a schedule
for these specific projects is a must. I could read a book on time management
and I need to learn to say "NO!" to any interference with my plan.
Just a tiny, insignificant dream fragment? This dream could change my life!