CAVEAT: This article contains sexually explicit description and language. Some
people may find the content distasteful and it should not be viewed by minors
without guidance. This article does not broach the subject of counseling, sexual
or otherwise. If you are at all worried about your own or someone else's sexual
dreams (e.g. a child) please take steps to get in touch with the appropriate
organizations in your area.
In this article I am going to take a stroll through the fascinating territory
of sexual dreams. The newly published _Sex, Symbols and Dreams_ by Janice
Hinshaw Baylis, Ph.D deals specifically with this interesting topic, and I will
be looking at this book more closely as I go.
I have divided this article into three different sections:
1) Introduction (a personal view of sexual dreams)
2) A closer look at _Sex, Symbols and Dreams_
3) Two sexual-type dreams explored in more depth using the word and image
association methods from _Sex, Symbols and Dreams_
A PERSONAL VIEW OF SEXUAL DREAMS:
The following extracts are taken from my own dream-journal.
"...I'm standing outside in the dark. I am peering through the curtains
of a house into the guest bedroom. I see a huge shape moving in one of the twin
beds and nothing in the other. I know there should be two sleeping shapes, and
this makes me feel uneasy. Then I am inside the room. What I see repulses me.
The blonde male houseguest is having intercourse with the very young girl that
lives in the house. The girl is 8 or 9, very pretty, with long straight blonde
hair. She is staring straight up at the ceiling while she is being abused. She
has no legs, her body stops neatly after her groin. The man thinks it's great
fun and somehow convinces me to have a go. I have a small, ugly penis, onto
which I put a condom that has no end. Then I proceed to lie on top of the little
girl and attempt intercourse with her. I feel nothing. She feels even less than
this. I am looking at her wide eyes, and I can't be entirely sure now that she
"...Young handsome man. He has entered into a cooking competition. I
break the egg yolk into his soup for him..."
"...I carry a pink mobile phone with me. I am camping with someone. We
arrive at a beautiful terraced camping ground, looking over a stunning deep blue
sea. We are about to set up tent, when a few truckloads of boy scouts come down
"...there was a giant oyster cut open and laid out on the rock, ready to
"...Rob Deniro and I are in bed. Lovely and gentle. He is stroking me
intimately, and I am embarrassed and just lie still. ‘You've got freckles on
your back!' he exclaims ‘So have I!'..."
It is an interesting point to ponder that our minds don't discriminate when
it comes to dream expression. Almost everyone has explicit and non-explicit
sexual dreams at some point during their lives, some of which are erotic and
extremely pleasant, others which have the feel of nightmares. Sometimes
sexual-type dreams can be embarrassing or confusing, and often they can feel
inappropriate to our real life sexuality, where in our dream we are performing
sexual acts that we are morally or ethically opposed to in waking life.
Although we still don't understand fully the workings of the subconscious
mind, sexual dreams have been documented throughout history and in more recent
times have formed the basis of several books and studies. Folklore
interpretations have long been replaced with broad and tolerant ideas exploring
the way sexual imagery and sexual symbolism help us which can help us with our
understanding of our own dreams.
Since this article is about sexual dreams in general and their interpretation
(and *not* which famous people I dream about) interesting questions to ask might
be - How often are sexual dreams about sex, and when are they about something
else? Also, how do you know when a non-sexual dream is actually commenting on
your waking sex life.
In applying these questions to the above dreams from my journal, I discovered
some interesting things. The dreams from which these extracts were taken were
never fully interpreted by me at the time they occurred. When I looked back
through my journal I could see that *most* of the unexplained and unexplored
dreams happened to be the sexually related ones. I asked myself why this might
be the case, and realised that after waking up from each of the dreams in
question I had been COMPLETELY distracted by the imagery and in some cases by
the people I had included in the dream with me. The strong "WOW" or
"YUK" reaction seemed to stop me dead in my tracks, thus, more often
than not the true 'meaning' of the dream was lost.
Famous people, incest, alien sex, growing new genitals, magical orgasms,
rape, true love, childhood sex, teenage sex, sex to make babies, lust, lust and
more LUST...the list goes on.
Whether titillating or terrifying, my sexual dream images are some of the most
vivid and memorable all of my dreams, often staying with me for many days
afterwards. It is this inherent power that has encouraged me to find out more
So, how can you get past the superficial actions of an intense sexual dream
and then interpret it?
In this section I'm going to look at _Sex, Symbols and Dreams_ by Dr Janice
Baylis. An enjoyable and entertaining book, that is crammed full of sexual-type
dreams and their interpretations. (If you ever thought you were the only one to
have bizzare, or fantastic, or frightening sexual dreams - I recommend taking a
look at the variety of dreams contained in this book - ordinary people, yet
fascinating dream material.)
Before diving specifically into word association & symbol substitution
systems, Dr Baylis reminds us of a few important dream principles, that can
apply to any kind of dream.
o Principle 1: Dreams are usually about the dreamers current life, especially
o Principle 2: An image may have different meanings depending on the
individual dreamer and which substitution system the dream-mind used.
o Principle 3: For one thing to represent another there must be some link,
some similarity or association between them.
o Principle 4: The dream-mind uses more than one substitution system in each
o Principle 5: Many dreams have a dramatic structure:
- The problem or area of concern
- Development of the problem and/or a solution
- The reaction of the dream-ego
- An outcome
To explore the various levels of sexual-type dreams, _Sex, Symbols and
Dreams_ uses as one of its prime interpretative tools, various forms of word
play and association. Puns, Homographs (same written form but different meaning)
Dictionary definitions, Jargon and Syllabification (division of a word into its
syllables) are all types of word representations that can be used by the dream
mind to convey a message. Dr Baylis looks very closely at the language and
symbols that have appeared in a dream, or in the dreamers description of the
dream, and then links these images and/or words, back to the dreamer and the
dreamers real life.
An example from _Sex, Symbols and Dreams_:
"A single woman in her thirties reported this dream:
'I am at a singles party standing around, talking and enjoying myself.
Suddenly my fanny begins to itch. I scratch it descreetly yet try to ignore it.
The itching becomes worse so I leave the party. I find an empty bedroom in the
house. I pull down my panties and look at my fanny [behind] in the mirror. There
are lots of bites. I know they are insect [sounds like in sex] bites. I want
something to stop the itching. The door opens. I'm so glad it's two girls who
come in and not a guy. They look at the insect bites. One of the girls goes to
the nearby medicine cabinet and gets a medicine spray. 'I lie down on the bed on
my tummy; by now I'm nude [she is exposed]. This girl sprays the medicine on the
bites. It feels cool and soothing, the itching stops.
I sit up and kiss the girl a long kiss on the lips. I feel loving toward her but
am embarrassed in front of the other girl. I wake up.' (Baylis Studen Dream
Dr Baylis has this to say about the dream:
'She is at a singles party, a place to meet men; parties often represent
social life. Extending the visual *fanny*, to the word *behind* and *behind* to
*past*, she finds it is her past that is bothering her. In a bedroom, an area
associated with sexual activity, by reflecting (mirror's function is to reflect)
on her past sexual activity she sees insect (sounds like *in sex* - a pun)
bites. She's been bitten in sexual activity. "I've repeatedly gotten into a
sexual relationship wanting to be loved," she told me, "only to find
that the fellas didn't love me. They only wanted sex or at least not a
commitment. I'm itchy to find a real love."
'The soothing medicine spray is found and applied by a girl, a feminine
influence. She embraces (by definition *willingly accepts*) this caring feminine
attribute. This is an unidentified female; it could be a self-loving part of the
dreamer. It could be suggesting a lesbian love, but probably not because of the
embarrassment pictured in the dream...'
In this example the dream seems to indicate a direct relationship to the
dreamers sexual life. However, often, exploration of dream will point to another
waking issue - and sexual activity, like other 'fundamental' human emotional
activities is an excellent dream vehicle to express these 'other' issues.
Perhaps our dream-mind knows that when 'sex' is used in a dream, we will sit up
and take notice!
Word association and identifying symbolism in dreams, is a very personal
process, and is always influenced by the environment one has grown up in and the
primary language one speaks.
In the English language ('Sex, Symbols and Dreams' is written in, and deals
specifically with the English language) there are a plethora of words that can
have multiple meanings.
As only one of thousands of examples, let us look at what Dr Baylis has to
say about the use of the word "arse/ass_ (spelling differs across the
world) in the very useful "Mini-Dictionary in the back of 'Sex, Symbols and
- backassward; in reverse order, from beginning to end; move backward -
wrongly or confusedly, without system
- in arrears, late or behind in payments or finishing something, such as a job,
- wasted communication
- rear entry: get at what is behind something
also: Syllabification: anal/shitty plus intercourse/communication or inner
course; therefore, ‘shitty communication' or ‘on a shitty course'.
To me, the word/image "arse/ass_ could represent...well...just an "arse_!
But my life experience suggests many other related phrases;
"Nice piece of arse/ass_ or "Arse/ass over tit' [also: 'Arse about
face'] or (in some parts of the world) to be "Arsey_ is to be antsy or
irritable. Others are 'Arse-wipe' 'Arse bandit' and 'Silly arse'.
To allow for your own 'true' interpretation of the use of this word, it might
be useful to think of similar words (e.g. bottom, bum, buttocks) and ask why 'arse'
in particular was the one used in your description/dream and not one of the
The words and images that we create in sexual dreams and the words we use to
describe these dreams (for example; sleazy, fucked, slippery, cock) are worth
exploring as concrete symbols representing a person, action or attitude.
Possible questions could be: "What is it to be "sleazy_?_ "Who or
what is fucked?_
'Sex, Symbols and Dreams' uses word association to explore a large number of
common sexual dreams, but it does more than this. It also raises some important
points about sexual-type dreams. One of these, Dr Baylis herself expresses best:
"Sexual symbolism is only one form the dream-mind uses. I am making it a
special focus of this book to, as I said before, kill the common misconception
that sexual dreams should be taken literally or dismissed as outrageous."
I, as a fervent dreamer, have never dismissed my sexual dreams, but as noted
earlier, at worst find them disturbing, and at best deliciously distracting. In
'Sex, Symbols and Dreams', I found very interesting food for thought, and was
more able, upon reading through the book and studying the examples given, to get
beyond some of the 'superficial' action in my own sexual dreams, and discover
relevant meanings/interpretations for them.
Several of the chapters in the book address quite common questions about
sexual dreaming, and offer practical methods for answering these questions. For
example there is a chapter called "What's so and so doing in my dream"
which I found very useful. "So and so" might be a stranger, or a
family member or your partner...As one of the largest distractions against
interpreting a sexual dream when it occurs is the HUGE QUESTION - 'Why am I
dreaming sexually about him/her/it?'
The kind of symbol substitution and word association that is used to
interpret the dreams in 'Sex, Symbols and Dreams', requires a little practice to
get the hang of - but once you begin to associate images and words in this way,
the skill grows and with it the potential to understand your sexual dreams in a
new way and on different levels. Whilst word/image association is by no means
the only way to go about interpreting a sexual dream (or any kind of dream) it
is a very useful system to explore, and can be very impressive in its simplicity
One of the best ways to share a process, is to "demonstrate" it.
Below are two sexual-type dreams that Dr Baylis has responded to, using some of
the methods described in 'Sex, Symbols and Dreams'.
(CAVEAT: - Dr Baylis does NOT interpret dreams via email - please see the
link below if you wish to read more about the book and Dr Baylis)
A LITTLE INFORMATION ABOUT THE DREAMER 'G':
'I'm very, very talkative, and spend a lot of time
planning/organizing/dreaming/working on 'changing' everything around me. My
partner, is the opposite - quiet, more gentle, and more 'zen-like' (i.e. lets
things 'be' - more tolerant about) life/relationship etc. I am happy at the
moment, but a little frustrated about not being able to 'move' on creatively and
DREAM 1: 'POP ON TRIAL'
Pop is in an old-style courthouse. It is a gallery-type room with benches
going steeply up each side. He stands on the wooden floor in the centre of the
room. He has done something horribly wrong. This is his execution. There are
guards watching him from close by. He has the opportunity to give a little
goodbye speech. This he does, and he says sorry for what he has done, and then
says how much he deserves to die, but how glad he is that they are allowing him
to do it for himself. He then stuffs a giant condom into his mouth, slowly, I
can feel how its choking him. Its horrible! Eventually when he has it almost the
whole way in his mouth, I can see that there is brown bloody stuff, coming out
of his mouth. I am watching this from one end of the courtroom.
DREAMERS FIRST THOUGHTS ON DREAM 1:
'In general, I suspect the dream is somehow connected to my way of
communicating. Or perhaps just communicating in general. I (Pop?) have put
myself on trial, admitted guilt, then have forced myself to eat....my own words?
my own discharge? I'm not sure beyond this...
'Pop' is the nickname I use for my real life Grandfather. Pop Smith. He is a
'character'. A wrinkly, ropey, old, slightly bigoted, loud-mouthed, one-armed
man. He is quite crude, occasionally sexist, and fairly embarrassing to have
around most of the time. He recently took a trip overseas and paid me and 'M'
[G's partner] a visit.'
DREAM 2: 'SOFT PENIS'
'I'm having sex with a handsome, dark-haired man. He is a very nice person
and I have feelings for him. We are trying to have intercourse in a bedroom, but
I am worried about his penis. Two things bother me about it. Firstly, it is
soft, too soft. Secondly, around the head of the penis there is a white
discharge. I don't say anything to him about this though, and we lie on the bed
together and continue the attempt at penetration. Then he mentions that he has
'....' (an std), and I'm relieved that he has not got the white stuff from me,
but also I feel put off by him too. Then he says 'does M know? (about us) and I
say 'yes'. He is surprised by this, and then pleased that we are ok.
In another part of the dream I am standing outside a toilet cubicle. Inside
is a girlfriend and her partner. I have come down here to see if she's ok and
ask her to come out. Some apocolyptical thing has happened in the world - But
she has chosen to spend her last moments in the toilet with her man. They come
out of the cubicle briefly to speak to me, and then they go back in and shut the
DREAMERS FIRST THOUGHTS ON DREAM 2:
Hmmm....I'm really not sure what this one's about. It might have something to
do with communication too (re: pop on trial) or perhaps it's actually about sex?
Perhaps M is too 'soft' and 'discharges' stuff I don't want to catch (verbally
that is). I really don't know about the toilet cubicle bit - but I like the
imagery, and have a broad sense that this part of the dream has a positive
meaning for me.
DR BAYLIS MAKES COMMENTS ON DREAM 1: 'POP ON TRIAL'
I think you are correct that 'POP ON TRIAL' deals with your communication
style and a bit more, extraversion. From what you've said I feel that Pop may
represent a part of you, extraversion. Dreams often use exaggerated/extreme
personalities to focus on characteristics. It would be good though to put Pop on
The People Meaning List (see later) and see what comes up.
Aristotle said, "The key to dream interpretation is resemblances."
Self-description of Dreamer: "I'm very, very talkative
Description of Pop: "loud-mouthed"
Dreamer: "planning/ogranizing/working on 'changing' everything (does that
include the people?) around me.
Pop: "hard to tolerate - very bossy and domineering"
Pop having visited you and M about two weeks before the dream would become a
focus of attention, he would become a prime choice as a symbol for extraversion
and/or control tendencies. Thinking then of Pop as a symbol for your
extravertive style of communicating/talking/speech, what might the dream be
saying about very, very talkative G?
*Courthouse* - Place of being judged in criminal or civil offences. Place of
sentencing could be the act of putting words into syntax for communicating!
Stands in center of room - being center of attention, extreme extraverts love
*Gallery* - 1. chance to 'play to the gallery' an idiom for trying to get the
attention of the audience.
2. the shallow, undiscriminating general public. He (extraversion/very, very
talkative) has done something horribly wrong this is his execution.
*Execution* from dictionary: his execution 1. way of performing a skill i.e.
communication (hard to tolerate, often embarrassing etc.
2. putting to death - Time to put an end to the exaggerated type of
BOTH CAN APPLY
*Guards watching*: communication needs to be guarded i.e. careful and
*Goodbye speech* - parting from that style of communicating allowed to end it
himself (yourself) - Not depend on or wait for others to confront. Not wait for
a crisis but start to work on this habit yourself now.
*Condom* sounds like *condemn*, a pun for 'found guilty' Condemnation of the
*Condom* - control device - function is to prevent fertilization and growth. -
antivenereal device - function is to prevent std's! (See Dream 2.)
*Choking* - controlling your mouth/speech/words will not be easy!!!!
*Brown, bloody stuff from mouth* - earthy/shit/crap - "That was a crappy
thing to say." What we say when someone has said something hurtful
"crap" - slang for
1. fecal matter/shit
2. anything cheap, ugly or insulting
3. a public toilet (SEE Dream 2.)
*You are watching* - dream wants you to observe/take notice of all this
commentary on communication style.
*From the courthouse* - from a place of judgment.
This dream could have been a response to a communication problem on the day
before the dream and a response to seeing resemblances between parts of you and
parts of Pop.
I agree it seems to be about your communication style. Perhaps it could be
controlled/toned down some to reach toward a more balanced, ambivert behavior.
DR BAYLIS MAKES COMMENTS ON DREAM 2: 'SOFT PENIS'
As a part to represent the whole, a synecdoche, the male distinguishing
feature, the penis, can represent a whole male personality. Perhaps in this case
one with a soft personality.
Your description of M: "Quiet, gentle, 'zen-like' i.e. lets things
Scene 1: having sex - having a male-female relationship/interaction.
The opening of a dream often points to the area of concern - your partnering
relationship. Have feelings for him - with someone you care about and are
attracted to. OPPOSITES ATTRACT.
*Intercourse* - From dictionary:
1. exchange of ideas
2. commerce (financial dealings, a current problem area). 3. sexual intercourse
(symbolically the above two between partners)
Trying to have - not yet succeeding
Worried about his penis - worried about his masculinity traits, such as,
*Too soft* - not hard enough, can't pierce/penetrate/perform
Don't say anything to him about this - not bringing it out into the open for
*White discharge* - pus? - secret/ion from inflamed tissue - tissue from the
Here we are back to the talking/communication style. This time it is the
male's mouth. Not enough talking/communicating can be just as big a problem as
Is M an introvert as it sounds like he is?
Did not get the white stuff from you - it is from himself and his reaction to
He has '...' a sexually transmitted disease -
Disease in syllables becomes dis - ease/lack of comfort
Sexually transmitted - transmitted/sent between opposite sexes
A lack of comfort in a male-female relationship.
Attempt to penetrate -
1. attempt to force into or through.
2. attempt to perceive the meaning of/understand (not accomplished yet)
You feel put off - his dis-ease/lack of comfort and his softness/introversion
the opposite of your extraversion tends to put you off.
'Does M know?' - Is M aware of the situation?
'Yes" - Yes, he is aware though he's not saying anything.
Pleased M is aware - Awareness is the beginning of solution.
Scene 2: outside a toilet cubicle - In American slang "crap' can mean a
public toilet (SEE Dream 1).
Outside/beyond the "crap"/slang for nonsense/cheapness/insults etc.
Be outside this! Observe.
*Toilet* - place to get waste material/'crap' out of your system.
*Cubicle* - From dictionary -
1. bedroom esp. a partially enclosed section in a dormitory 2. any small part-itioned
area(partnering part of your life) such as a carrell (Place to study as in a
*Girlfriend* - friendly female quality. Girlfriend and her partner - this is
about male-female partnering relationship. They are in the cubicle working on
You've come 'down here'
- into the dream world of sub-conscious mentation.
*Apocolyptical* - From dictionary -
1. revelation/insight/new awareness
3. Last book of New Testament - about the end times.
*In the world* - your world/life
Last moments - end times
*In the toilet* - as bedroom = area of sexual activity symbolic of partnering
- location of elimination
*With her man* - regarding partnering
*Shut the door* - closure
DREAMERS COMMENTS ON COMMENTS:
First, I'm going to put 'Pop' through the 'People Meaning List', and
afterwards I'll make some comments about your comments. (I won't put the
'girlfriend' through the list, because she was a stranger to me in the dream and
NAME: Pop Smith
RELATION: Maternal Grandfather
JOB: Retired Civil Servant & Airforce Pilot
ERA: Reminds me of being 8 - 14 years old, when I saw him and my grandmother
the most (during school holidays)
CHARACTER: Bossy, doesn't listen, bigoted - but also - witty, talented
PHYSICAL: Pop has only one arm - Makes a big deal out of achieving great things
all his life in spite of this disability (e.g. got pilots licence)
PSYCHOLOGY: Large Ego (!) Clever (thinking function) but certainly not
compassionate or sensitive (sensation & feeling functions). Seemingly
oblivious to the feelings of others.
BELIEF: Massive hidden insecurities? About women? (Has triplet sisters, and
was raised by a VERY overbearing mother) He also believes himself to be truly
entertaining and does not stop trying to fill voids of silence.
OTHER: My mother (another introvert) has done battle against her father for
years. In some ways he represents to me a benign threat. Someone whom is
unpleasant sometimes, but whom I'm not directly enough connected to (like my
mother) to be 'badly' affected by - at all. Someone whom I have chosen to see
the 'good' things in rather than the 'bad'.
DREAMER COMMENTS ON COMMENTS: 'POP ON TRIAL':
G: 'Very, very talkative' Pop: 'loud-mouthed'
Yes...well...two sides of the same coin! The more I think about it, the more
clear it becomes that to me that Pop is representative (both in the dream and in
reality) of me at my utter worst with regards to the way I communicate. Which I
think is well covered by the phrase 'he has done something horribly wrong'.
I think it is horrible behavior to hold the floor in the manner that he (I)
does in the dream (and often in real life) - and only at the point of
'execution' does he (I) cease talking...This makes me laugh a bit, because I
will (in the real) talk about anything at all, good, bad, ugly, and it would not
surprise me one little bit if I died in mid-sentence (ha ha).
Courthouse: Place of sentencing. I like this pun, and feel it is relevant. It
is a trial by words. Words are on trial. In the end of the dream it seems as if
there is 'finally' nothing left to say, and the action of swallowing words
(condom) seems to make the silence even more appropriate, yet horrible.
Execution: Yes, it does feel that his (my) execution is symbolic of stopping the
Goodbye Speech: Not only has he (me) been allowed to 'speak' his apology and
admit his guilt, but the overwhelming feeling is that he also 'turned himself
in' That he (I) is in this courtroom as a volunteer.
Condom/Condemn: Another great pun - I love this and wouldn't have made the
Condom - Control device: - Function to prevent fertilization and growth. I
agree with this and how it fits into the theme of exaggerated communication. If
a one-sided monologue becomes an incomprehensible barrage, then naturally, the
growth that may have occurred from a more balanced conversational style is lost.
In that the condom could be seen as a symbol of 'protection, and aborting
growth' I believe that Pop eating the condom, was an act of swallowing words. a)
Being silent. b) Stopping, choking, on 'words' that are seen normally (by me) as
good, growth things.
In general: I think our mutual breakdown of the dream is absolutely correct.
I (Pop) sometimes over-talk through some issues without pause, and have/had been
examining this part of myself around the time of the dream. It is an ongoing
issue for me, and I expect to have more dreams about it (if I can untangle
them!) One further comment: In reality, I sometimes feel that nothing can stop
me 'going on' - perhaps this is why I introduced such a severe punishment into
the dream. I.e. DEATH!
DREAMERS COMMENTS ON COMMENTS: 'SOFT PENIS'
Soft Penis AS Soft personality - yup!
'Soft' as slang in the UK also implies 'wimpy' & 'daft'.
Again, generally I think the associations made are pretty spot on. I do feel
the dream pointed at a 'lack' I feel from my partner. Worrying about his penis
(masculine traits) is apt too - He has a very well developed female side - In
life this is what attracted me to him, and still does.
Where male traits are power tools, e.g. assertion, penetration etc... This is
perhaps more my focus in the dream. 'Penetration' for me could mean, penetrating
ideas VIA discussion (see Dream 1.)
I felt good when I awoke from this dream, and you touched on it with he 'did
not get the white stuff from you - it is from himself'. I had been worried
around the time of the dream that I had discouraged him further, from
participating fully in our relationship together.
Does M know? Yes...he does. And HE DOES in reality. This also adds to the
good feeling about the dream. In so far as we occasionally have problems in our
real-life relationship, with communication (I, saying too much, he too little) -
we are both in love and committed to working all problems out together, however
necessary (or however long it may take). Thus my comfort at the end of the
dream, I think.
I like the implication of meaning going 'down here' into the sub-conscious
realm. Generally I feel that this last bit of the dream has been tacked on the
end as a description of the whole. To me, apocalypse is something huge and
devastating and causes mass change. Change for me is good, and in this dream I
think the mention of apocalypse is a good thing. A BIG CHANGE!
To change...you have to 'eliminate' - and I like the touch that the couple
are in the toilet together. This says to me that they are 'eliminating' together
- another positive sign.
DREAMERS COMMENTS ON CONNECTION OF TWO DREAMS:
Interestingly enough, when I first sent them both to you - they were as
separate dreams that I had made no connection between. Now I'm tending to think
that they are looking at the same fundamental relationship issue (communication)
and dream one, 'Pop On Trial' is examining MY role in the
relationship/communication, and dream two 'Soft Penis' is examining M's role in
a similar way. There is an extremely subtle connection, but I do believe it is
there - the mood of the dreams is similar in places too. 'I' in the dream start
off being hard on the other person involved in both cases (i.e. M &
I)...Fascinating stuff. Thank you.
FINAL COMMENTS AND CLOSURE BY DR BAYLIS:
Dream 1 - 'POP ON TRIAL' From Pop on the People Meaning List the only thing
that strikes me is still the resemblance in your communication styles. Your
comment, "Yes - well - two sides of the same coin." indicates that we
are in agreement on that point. Swallowing the condom may also be an image of
accepting the court's condemnation/judgment. Regarding your comment,
"Overwhelming feeling he/I turned himself in - voluntarily." This is
new information but it certainly fits. Noone brought you to this dream courtroom
but yourself! Words, like most things, are neutral it is how one uses them that
makes them 'good' or 'bad'.
Dream 2 'SOFT PENIS' Soft as slang for 'whimpy' or 'daft' is good input -
perhaps a bit extreme for this case? Penetrating ideas are a bit different from
penetrating/deep understanding. Both can apply. The end scene of a dream often
shows a prognosis. In this case apocalyptic. Big Change, yes. And change can or
should follw revelation/insight. How did this strike you? To help each other
learn balance "One has to give up the superior function in order not to
paralyze the first attempts the partner makes." That applies to both
partners. As long as the communication issues remain (Usually as long as the
relationship remains!) your dreams will comment/guide. Often this will be in
response to happenings the day before the dream. Jotting down a few notes in
your dream journal regarding your day. They are your dreams, it is your life and
your's is the last word/judgment. Oh, oh is there an innuendo here?
****END OF DREAM INTERPRETATIONS****
Here endeth my stroll around the edges of this enormous topic. Thanks to Dr
Janice Baylis for her book 'Sex, Symbols and Dreams' (the details of which can
be found by following the link below) and for the extended interpretation of the
two dreams illustrating some of the methods used in the book.
I recommend Dr Baylis's book to anyone that is interested in a exploring their
sexual dreams a little further. Contained within the pages are many examples of
the association systems in 'action', several very useful charts and lists (see
Dreams above for 'People Meaning List') and for the dream amateur, like myself,
many reassurances, questions and answers that serve to stigmatize sexual-type
dreams and their dreamers.
Fear not your sexual dreams - and happy exploring!
The book referred to in this article is titled 'Sex, Symbols and Dreams' and
has been written by Janice Baylis, PhD, and recently published by Sun, Man,
Moon, Inc. For a sample of the book, previews, and ordering information, follow