"The Return Fantasy"
Dear Dream Doctor,
I have recurring dreams about a man I was once very much in love with. Jeff
broke my heart and moved away. Since then, I have had very "real"
dreams about him trying to come back to me, but in each instance, something
keeps us apart. Upon awakening, I have a sense of sweetness, love and joy that
is unlike anything I have ever experienced. I am currently happily married to a
very wonderful man who satisfies me in every way. So why does Jeff keep coming
back to me in my sleep?
- Megan, Age 31, Redwood Falls, MN, USA
Hi Megan -
There's something different about the ones who break our heart... We keep on
wondering why, and we keep on leaving the door open - no matter what reality
Why do we do this? Usually it has to do with our own ego. The key factor in
the dynamic is that they left us - and not the other way around. They didn't
want us. But we still want (need?) the confirmation of our desirability and
attractiveness - so we let the "return fantasy" linger.
I think your dreams show a fairly realistic assessment of your situation,
though - notwithstanding the "return fantasy." In your dreams,
something always keeps you apart from your ex. This "something" is the
Congratulations on building such a great relationship with your husband. This
is a genuine accomplishment. As for your "return fantasy" - I think
you may want to let it go. I think you've outgrown it! :-)
You can visit Charles McPhee at the Dream Doctor site