"I see people whose bones are not actually bones, but some composition
material n the shape of femurs, ribs, skull and so on. The outer layer, though
having the appearance of skin, is actually synthetic and the space between bones
and skin is filled with a grey, mealy substance . Yet the total aspect resembles
a human form which can walk, speak, more, eat, sleep and interact like a human
These creatures tell me that the process which transformed them from natural
humans is termed "minsking" , and was administered by the powers who
control this country. Because they are in this condition they are unable to
change themselves back into authentic humans."
That word "minsk" intrigues me. Is it a child's version of
"mince" - to chop into little pieces, to mash up?
Two incidents, occurring shortly before, are relevant to this dream. First,
I'd been upset by my reaction to a friend when she stretched out her wrist to
show a scar from her attempted suicide. I could not look. Filled with remorse
and shame as I remembered turning away when I wanted to give her the comfort and
understanding she needed, I could not fathom what had blocked me.
Second, a boy I knew, who would have been thirteen in two days, returned from
school, walked out of his house to the large oak tree in the back yard -- and
hung himself. Returning tired after a day's work, his mother dumped her things
on the kitchen table, called his name, went looking for him, and found him
hanging there, dead. When I heard of this I could not stop crying. That poor
child, that poor mother. How could no one have noticed his sorrow, his pain, I
wondered? Why didn't someone do something before it was too late?
Not long after, a compassionate friend said to me, " You are really
asking, ‘Why didn't someone pay attention to me when I was a child? Why didn't
someone help me in my misery?'" My crying is like the ocean bursting a dike
where a child had been holding her finger in the hole to keep back the waters.
My wise friend said to me, " You too ‘ killed yourself ' to escape
unbearable pain, but, unlike Pauli, and your friend, you ‘minsked' yourself
and created a stand-in, so that you could survive, at least partially . You
escaped into your imagination; Pauli escaped into death, as your friend
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