The Dream:
"I see people whose bones are not actually bones, but some composition material n the shape of femurs, ribs, skull and so on. The outer layer, though having the appearance of skin, is actually synthetic and the space between bones and skin is filled with a grey, mealy substance . Yet the total aspect resembles a human form which can walk, speak, more, eat, sleep and interact like a human being.

These creatures tell me that the process which transformed them from natural humans is termed "minsking" , and was administered by the powers who control this country. Because they are in this condition they are unable to change themselves back into authentic humans."

That word "minsk" intrigues me. Is it a child's version of "mince" - to chop into little pieces, to mash up?

Two incidents, occurring shortly before, are relevant to this dream. First, I'd been upset by my reaction to a friend when she stretched out her wrist to show a scar from her attempted suicide. I could not look. Filled with remorse and shame as I remembered turning away when I wanted to give her the comfort and understanding she needed, I could not fathom what had blocked me.

Second, a boy I knew, who would have been thirteen in two days, returned from school, walked out of his house to the large oak tree in the back yard -- and hung himself. Returning tired after a day's work, his mother dumped her things on the kitchen table, called his name, went looking for him, and found him hanging there, dead. When I heard of this I could not stop crying. That poor child, that poor mother. How could no one have noticed his sorrow, his pain, I wondered? Why didn't someone do something before it was too late?

Not long after, a compassionate friend said to me, " You are really asking, ‘Why didn't someone pay attention to me when I was a child? Why didn't someone help me in my misery?'" My crying is like the ocean bursting a dike where a child had been holding her finger in the hole to keep back the waters.

My wise friend said to me, " You too ‘ killed yourself ' to escape unbearable pain, but, unlike Pauli, and your friend, you ‘minsked' yourself and created a stand-in, so that you could survive, at least partially . You escaped into your imagination; Pauli escaped into death, as your friend attempted to."

Alissa
alissa@dreamgate.com

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